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The calm after the storm

Take me back to one month ago and I didn’t think I would ever be writing this blog. W has been seizure free for FOUR WEEKS! Four, whole, glorious weeks. Today we danced to ‘Backstreet Boys’ in the living room with sunglasses on and hat’s on backwards (though these blogs you might be getting an idea of my very varied musical tastes).

For the first time,in a while, I could breathe.

The funny thing is…I knew that everything was stressful, but until now I don’t think I’ve taken in how stressful it has been.

I have felt rather poorly this week. Completely worn out and able to sleep at the drop of a hat. I decided I was coming down with a bug, but nothing has materialised. I have slept for hours, I’ve cried and screamed and have realised it isn’t a bug. It’s the calm after the storm. I need to assess, redress and rebuild. Self-care is needed.

I still struggle with the unknown of Epilepsy. W’s medication is seeming to control his seizures, but no one can confirm it will continue this way. I feel unsure how to deal with this ‘calmness’ which I realise sounds weird and ungrateful. We are overjoyed that W has had some respite. I realise how lucky we are too. We’ve been able to do all of the fun things we used to do.

Still in the back of my mind I’m waiting for something.

I’m prepared. I’m on alert.

How to deal with these random set of emotions is tricky. My solution is booking in as many random activities as possible. Tubing down the local ski slope has kick started this. You are basically chucked down a slope in an inflatable ring. It’s amazing! Concerts, comedians and wild beach camping is to follow. We’ve promised W that we can camp in the garden when the weather is nice too.

Any other advice from parents who are dealing with the ‘calmness’ would be very welcome.

I hope you all have a lovely bank holiday weekend (when this horrid weather clears)

Love,

Clare x

Diagnosis and medication, Epilepsy and parenting

Buccolam (Emergency medication).

For a while I’ve been anxious about going anywhere ‘too far off the beaten track’. I plan our outings meticulously if they are somewhere we haven’t been before. I even started googling Ambulance response times. The problem with doing this is that it made me panic even more. I realised even if W was having a prolonged seizure he would be a category two. This would mean that if anyone in the area was a category one he wouldn’t be priority. Every single Tonic Clonic W has had has been over five minutes. If paramedics didn’t arrive quickly, we would be watching him go through the motions of a TC and would be unable to stop it. We couldn’t prevent status epilepticus.

Status epilepticus is a condition where a person has a seizure (convulsion or fit) or a series of seizures that last for 30 minutes or more, without a complete recovery of consciousness.

https://www.gosh.nhs.uk/medical-information/medicines-information/buccal-oromucosal-midazolam

It was like going into battle without reinforcements or armour for that matter.

A friend @epilepsy_parent listened to my concerns and highlighted that Buccolam (Emergency medication) should be something we should be asking the Neurologist for. I did have to push. I called a lot. I asked for the criteria and then finally I got the call…

They were issuing Buccolam to us and wanted to begin the administration training asap.

I can’t not explain the overwhelming relief I felt. I cried. I danced. I sang to the Lion King in the kitchen.

The training was 45 minutes long and Buccolam is easy to administer. On its first usage a paramedic or health professional must be present as it can affect breathing and may turn into a CPR situation. After the first usage you are free to administer yourself (once trained). You are given four doses and these are tailored to the age and size of each child/adult. They stop the need for paramedics to use diazepam, which is a lot more traumatic for the patient. The 4 doses enable us to have one at home, one at nursery, one in W’s bag (which we take everywhere) and one spare just incase.

We went on our first holiday (since W’s diagnosis) this week. It was the very first time I felt ok about taking him far from home. We could help him if needed. We finally had the troops and armour with us wherever we went.

Buccolam has empowered us. I feel enabled to make sure that Epilepsy will not beat W. We are waiting and prepared to conquer that monster, when and if it rears its ugly head.

Love,

Clare x

Diagnosis and medication

Sodium Valproate

Week 1- 4

The idea of medicating a small child (Or anyone for that matter) is a daunting one. I read all of the leaflets and researched online. It didn’t help. In fact it made the situation worse. The best thing I did was ask a ‘friend of a friend’ for advice, as her little one had also been diagnosed with Epilepsy. It was a breath of fresh air. I hope to do the same for anyone reading this.

The side effects for any medication can be vast. They can vary depending on the age and gender of the person taking it (Sodium Valproate is particularly risky if there is any chance of pregnancy -it can seriously harm an unborn baby) Everyone will have a different experience of the same brand/medicine. The side effects of Sodium Valproate are frankly scary – hair loss, liver complications, tiredness, hunger, over activity, mood and behavioral change etc. – but remember these are ‘possible’ side effects not definite ones. For us, so far, things haven’t been as bleak as the inside leaflet suggests .

Week one we started with 1ml in the morning and the same again at night. We hardly saw a change in W. There were no tonic clonic seizures, but he did have a cluster of absences. The seizures didn’t stop straight away which we expected.

Week two (2ml/1ml) and week three (2ml/2ml) is where we started to see some side effects. He was starving. I don’t mean a little bit hungry. I mean starving! We had to restock the cupboards mid week with healthy snacks. He was out eating me and then some. I watched him basically swallow a banana whole! I had visions of him turning into a little, toddler sized, bouncy ball. He also went from tired to super energetic on a couple of occasions making him rather grumpy. I do however wonder if this was a side effect at all or the fact he’s 3. In all honesty he was behaving like a toddler and nothing more dramatic than that.

Week four is where we are now (3ml/2ml). This week the hunger has slowed down. He appears tired, but not as grumpy. A couple of times his speech hasn’t been as clear as normal, but this was at night, after a long day at nursery and returned to normal after a rest.

Remember your little one will be monitored. If any unwanted side effects crop up, let your Neurologist/Epilepsy Nurse know. For us it’s going well.

I’ll update you on week five soon,

Lots of love,

Clare xx